Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize