his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I could fuck to npr.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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