fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
