That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
my being single is dangerous.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
