Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
