1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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