Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
