Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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