god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
