Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
