the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
