Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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