White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
