HIV tests are more positive than that guy
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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