Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
