if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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