I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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