I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
