This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
