You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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