She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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