so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
