I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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