Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
