mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
