Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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