I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
