yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My vagina just clenched in fear
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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