At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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