I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
