If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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