It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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