i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
