i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
