I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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