Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
