I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
