but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
