That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
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