Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
