he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
