I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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