at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
