I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
