2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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