do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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