nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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