Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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