Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
