Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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