Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
