All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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