it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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