I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
