3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
