Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
