Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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