She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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