We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The power of my boobs compel you
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
